My mother only had three wheels my father had a little head

My sister she was certified my brother he still wets the bed

My Uncle on a whim changed sex in Vietnam

And you wonder why I am the way I am

 

At Christmas time we never met birthdays we forgot

Funerals we never gave just left them there to rot

Don't ask me who's legitimate I think perhaps that's best

And please accept I'm different to the rest

 

CH1 But I'm not crazy anymore

I took my pills just before

But if you don't mind I'll sweep the floor

Doctor with your pinafore

 

Why do these people think I'm nuts and follow me around

The television talks to me even with no sound

I tell you I'm not paranoid I swear they've all got guns

And I've got nothing worse than mental runs

 

CH2 No I'm not crazy honestly

I'll open wide so you can see

My marbles where they're supposed to be

Trapped beneath my dignity

 

So Doctor would you let me out I promise I'll be good

Delusions have all gone away voices too touch wood

And I only hallucinate whent hings get kind of slow

So sign the form please Elvis let me go

 

CH3 And I'm not crazy not at all

I'm just having myself a ball

Answering my own true call

Forgive me if I'm off the wall

 

CH4 No I'm not crazy don't you see

It's everybopdy else not me

No I'm not crazy honestly

Doo wop diddly-bop yeeha whoopee